I have accustomed myself to the notion that being mature means having it all together. Responding calmly, with complete confidence in the face of challenges. Knowing what to do in any given situation. I'm beginning to think I've been wrong.
I have been viewing maturity like a neat, paned window. All the panes the same size, completely transparent and clean. You can see clearly through this window. If a pane is broken, it must be repaired, replaced, even. It must be restored to its original condition.
This window lets the light in, exposing the dust and dirt within. The need for a
room to be cleaned. But I have different windows in my front door. There are frosted panes, with beautiful designs, and beveled panes, that when the sun shines through, reveal the true beauty of light. Color. Vibrant bands of rainbows dance across any surface on which the light lands.
Broken glass refracts light, revealing its glory, bringing beauty to the dreary,
dusty, filthy room. Perhaps maturity is not about keeping those panes perfectly clean and clear, but instead, submitting to the brokenness. Allowing myself to be shattered. Letting God put the shattered pieces together in such a way that I no longer expose the dirt and filth, but instead, reveal the Light's glory.
I've been much too busy focusing on “keeping it clean” trying desperately to put the broken pieces back into the pane, with minimal visible damage. Instead, I think God is calling me to just be shattered and let the Glory fall where it may.
“Being loved by God is one of the most painful things in the world, it's also
the only thing that can bring us to salvation.” - Rich Mullins
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