Grow up!

I seem to be having trouble growing up.  I'm already back to James 1:2-4.  Three bulging discs and a bone spur in my neck have attacked my left arm in excrutiating pain.  I am typing now, thanks to the blessing of modern medicine.  Muscle relaxants and pain meds make the pain tolerable, and I'm able to use my hand, until they wear off.  I had great plans for this week.  Clean out the basement, get all the extra stuff out of the house, have a garage sale.  Not now.  Now I'm sitting here trying to think up things I can do to pass the time.  I get bored easily, and my Martha syndrome kicks in. "There's just so much that needs to get done",  my brain tells me.  We need to get the blueprints from the log company and order the logs, and contract with the concrete guy for a foundation, and get an electrician and a plumber, and make arrangements with the utility company to get out to our building site and....  all of which we can't do until we get the blueprints, and the log guy hasn't gotten back to us, yet.  I don't like waiting.  It makes me very aware of how much is out of my control.  So my Father makes me wait.  He knows I need to learn it.  He knows I still need to grow up in patience.  But not only am I waiting for others, but now there's not much I can do to distract me while I'm waiting!  Perhaps the lesson is not about waiting, so much as it's about not always doing?  Perhaps, it's not about waiting on God, but waiting with God.  Not that He's waiting for things to happen, but that He is putting me in th postion where there's nothing else I can do but sit with Him.  Maybe growing up isn't so much about having all the right responses to life's situations, but about just taking advantage of life's situations to bring them to my Father.  To bring Him my fears and pain and lonelinesses.  To share with Him my joys and delights and victories.  What if, instead of trying to be patient, I just hung out with God while I wait for the things on my list that I can't controll?  Isn't that what growing up is really all about?  How can I become more like Christ, if I don't spend time with Christ? 

But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.
Eph. 5:14